First Response to Survivors with DID
Dear Survivor,
Thank you for your honesty in telling me this information up front. It does help me to know how to support you today and into the future. You and I have already entered into a Christian pastoral relationship to bring God’s healing love into your life. You need not be afraid to tell me anything about your past and present thoughts, hopes or fears. This journey will take time and though there may be miles between us, the Lord’s presence will connect us together to build the trust needed between us.
I have heard too many similar stories of women (and men) who have endured what you have, some for many more years, and have had the privilege to walk with a large number of them in their healing journeys. Their stories of healing through Jesus Christ are the subjects of my book series, “Shattered People.” The first 2 books tell the story of one multiple with 66 personalities and the people and events in their lives past and present, which are the subject of our first six years of 19 together. How they learn the truth about God in Jesus and slowly learn to accept His unconditional love for the first time is the core of these two books of four that I can send you for free, if you want them.
The books are not easy for survivors to read because of so many triggers for those with DID, but they are worth it because they help you to know without a doubt that you are not alone and there are others who understand the struggle and will help you through it. Because they will stir up memories, it will be helpful if you could write to me before reading the first book, “Journeys to Joy,” about any memories of primary abuse periods (ages) and a few particulars. If you are aware of your alters’ names who suffered it, that too would be helpful. This helps to prevent false memories being implanted by the reading. This can easily happen to someone just beginning to deal with the realities of past abuses, particularly SRA abuse, and I hope to eliminate the confusion this can cause.
While my methods as a pastoral counselor often challenge traditional behavioral health systems, they are established in the Bible. They have been proven many times over to be the methods that Jesus Christ uses and wants us to use, to heal broken people and wounded hearts. Through our chat rooms both private and public, emails at your convenience and phone calls as needed, I believe that you can heal and find your wholeness in Jesus Christ… however He defines that wholeness. This can occur without full integration or blending, and full joy can be restored. The love we offer through our staff here… and through many who are experiencing healing through their counseling, it’s all given freely by our Lord so that you can know the truth. Why He created you; how He kept you alive with DID (a survival mechanism), and has been with you in sorrow to sustain you so that you could reach this place… is the journey we begin in order to discover together what the Lord has in store for you.
Like the young girls or boys inside of you needing so much love, every individual part needs that same love to know true fulfillment for the reason of their existence. No individual part/person can give His love… except Jesus as He lives within each of you. As you will eventually read, I accept each alter for who they are, who they believe they are and will respect them as such. There are alters whose purpose was to keep silent at all cost, about what was done to some of you. Often, they were manipulated into causing you harm by cutting, threats of death, etc., in order to maintain secrecy within a cult and for self-protection as well. As you get older with DID, these same alters become confused by truths that are revealed and taken in by a deeper understanding of how Jesus was with you to sustain you through it. Often this confusion causes alters to cut themselves just to be sure they are real and alive in the present, to recognize that so many troubling memories are real, but in the past. Some alters believe they are not worthy of life because of their actions, or that healing means they have to give up their life as an individual because of them.
The things you talked about – flashbacks, missing time, hearing voices, cutting yourself, etc. are all indicative of MPD / DID. If a child part, or an adult, who has never driven a car switches out while driving, it can be very dangerous for everyone. One of the first things we wish to discover is how many alters are there, their names and their role within your system. Most systems cannot become high functioning, until they are mutually aware of each other and accept each other for the purpose they play in the life of the system affecting everyone. This will take time. I do not avoid the spiritual side and its role in all of this … in fact I confront and challenge it at every opportunity for full healing. The Holy Spirit will be very active in your healing process. IF there are demons to confront or demonic presences influencing you or any alter, we will confront them together through the power of Jesus’ presence to remove them. If there are any parts that are demonic, they will be forced to leave, but any alters that are real, yet under the influence of the demonic… enough time will be taken to help them learn the truth about God and Jesus Christ, so that they can send the demonic influences away by choice. True people/alters/personalities have nothing to fear from the love that we will share with you. God’s truth really does set you free to be who He intended you to be.
I can set you up with a log in name and a password to enter a private room on ZOOM, and in a group chat once you’re ready for counseling in community with fellow survivors. I will attach some information to help you log in through my website and more on the books later. If you decide to come on, I will guide you through the online chat options in the public room and run interference for you based on what you’ve told me already. I will need you to trust me if I say you should sign off now. I have people at different stages, and I need to protect them from triggers, as well as you. Please go online before entering, to read the guidelines on both the counseling page and the login page to be better prepared. You can always call by phone if you need to after a chat for help in the beginning.
We have several ministries we offer…and an ever-growing counseling room population, so please be patient when waiting for a response to emails or phone messages. I will get back to you as soon as I can. How long and what you share with us on this journey is up to you and fully confidential, but know that we will not abandon you along the way. May the Lord bless and keep you safe tonight and always.
Your friend and servant-in-Christ,
Pastor Michael Chalberg